Life

So people keep asking me how work is going and I really love it.  There are some challenges, but for the most part, it has been great for me.  I am starting to see patients now, and they are so fun to work with.  I am seeing all different ages from 2 to 14.  All with different kinds of vision disorders.  It has been really exciting learning and growing in this area.  It is nice to be able to talk to my husband if I have any questions.  I am impressed with all that he knows and I love how passionate he is about helping people.  It is interesting how once you start to learn about something you realize how little you know and I keep learning new things every day.
I have really enjoyed summer.  Next week school starts again.  I wish summer could last forever.  I am not sure I am ready for "real" life to start up again.  I signed my kids up for their extracurricular activities this week.  I often find it difficult to balance, but I think our schedule will work just fine this year.
My Neil turned seven years old.  I love that kid.  He is such a happy and sensitive soul.  It makes my heart ache a little to be approaching the time that he will have lived longer than his older brother... September 24rd.  That is the day.  The day that Neil will be older than Gordon ever was.
Sometimes I feel like I have come so far, and life has kind of moved on.  Like we are in our lives now and things are the way they should be.  Other days, I feel that raw emotion like it was yesterday.  Most of the time I think we are ok.  We do fun things together.  We laugh.  We smile.  We sing. We dance.  And other times we cry.  Although, we don't cry very much.
Our cat died.  I think a fox in the neiborhood got in a fight with him.  A friend found him in our front yard.  Tegan was the only one that was visibly a little sad.  I think after all that has happened, perhaps to them losing a cat is nothing.  I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Running and Nature

I love to run.  It makes my body feel happy.  I am generally a treadmill runner, but when the weather and time allows, I would much rather run outside.  I really appreciate God's creations and have a beautiful place to see some of them.

It is hard to completely appreciate what I see when I run in a picture, but sometimes I like to try to capture the beauty to help me remember. 

This day was so incredible.  There was tons of animal life along the river.  I saw lots of baby geese too.  They were adorable.

It is hard to tell in this picture, but that is a big bird in that tree.  I'm pretty sure it is a Golden Eagle.

 Running completely destresses my body.  I feel so good afterwards and accomplished.  Sometimes I wish the weather was always like this, so I could run out there all the time, but then maybe I wouldn't appreciate it as much.

Mother's day 2014

This year was a good Mother's day.  I hate doing things like this, but I told my husband and kids what my expectations were for Mother's day.  It turned out to be a good thing because they greatly exceeded those expectations.  I woke up this morning to the sound of my children and husband coming in the room with breakfast and their gifts made at school.  It was the most glorious way to wake up in the morning.  Jamin made breakfast for me.  He made a mushroom and cheese omelette with a bagel and a strawberry mango smoothie.  So yummy.
Jamin made me the sweetest mug.  I'll have to take a picture of it.  Neil made me a necklace and a book about the things that he loves about me.  Tegan made me a sparkly pink card.  Love it.  Stuff my kids make are the best.
After making sure I was taken care of, Matthew hurried and finished getting ready and went over to his Mom's to deliver her gift.  I love to see him treat his mother the way she should be treated.  Then he came back and we all went to church.
This evening Matthew made dinner for us and his Mom and a few of his siblings.  AKA he reheated take out that he bought the day before(Since we try not to shop on Sunday).  And the boys all cleaned up.  It was so great.  Thanks to my hubby and kids for making this day so special.

Loved ones

I have been thinking a lot about death lately.  I woke up yesterday and felt like writing a poem.  My Mom in-law's sister passed away the day before.  I didn't know her well, but did have an enjoyable stay and visit with her  a little less than 4 years ago.  She was getting really sick and was having a really hard time.
Mother's day reminds me of my Gordon not being here.  He was really sweet on Mother's day and would make me breakfast and sometimes "accidentally" eat it.  I think of my husband's cousins that won't have a Mom on Earth this Mother's day.  I think of my mom in-law who doesn't have her husband to make sure she gets treated well this Mother's day.  I think of all those I know who have moms that have passed on and those that have never had the opportunity to become a mom.  I pray that they can find peace on this day and enjoy it for what it is.

Death

I know you well

I saw you yesterday

Sick or healthy

Young or old

Does not seem to matter

When you come it hurts

Even though I know

I’ll see them in the life after

Who will go next?

Of whom I love

That, I do not know.

God has a plan

And in this life

I’m here to learn and grow

One day I’ll see my loved ones again.

I’ll wrap them in my arms

We’ll laugh and I’ll see that giant grin

While looking at your little chin

I miss you and I love you so

Wish I did not have to see you go

But death, can you just wait a bit?

Can you push the hold button

While I think and sit

Can you wait till I’m ready to say goodbye

So that though it’s hard

I will not cry

Can I hold them in my arms again

And say I love you another time

And see them laugh and see them play

And see them not go away

Just let them stay another day

Death

Please go away

Memories Made During a Difficult Time

Cousins =)

We have some that live close by

and some that live far away.

But they all came for a day to remember their Grandpa and to support their Grandma when she needed it the most.

Even though it was a hard, emotional time, we were able to do it together

and even have a few laughs

with some cousins that don't always have this white stuff around all the time.

I was so excited that two of my brothers came to be with me for a couple days after my father in-law passed away.  

Love these guys!  They took care of baby D during the funeral so I could go up for the musical numbers and we stayed up late playing a couple of good games of PowerGrid.  I slaughtered them the first time.  Bwahaha!  It was pretty awesome.  They got me back the second time, but it was still fun.

My sweet Neil snuggling with Grandma.  He loves his Grandma so much.  

This is the dress that Tegan wore to her Grandpa's funeral.  She wore it to Gordon's funeral as well, but I didn't get a good picture of it that day.  

It is the same dress that her cousin wore to her Grandma's funeral.  

It is difficult going through things like this, but it makes it so much easier to have family come and support you when you need it the most.  

Waterbugs and Dragonflies - a Community Mourning the Loss of Another Child

Yesterday I attended yet another funeral.
My husband and I were away last weekend visiting a friend's vision therapy clinic.  Matthew wanted to get ideas how to better assist his patients and become more efficient.  It was a nice trip.  We went without the kids thanks to some super awesome friends here and we went skiing.  It was nice to get away from reality for a few days.  Monday at lunch, one of Matthew's staff that came with us who is also a friend asked if I had checked my e-mail that day.  I had not checked it all weekend, but she said I should and that something tragic had happened to a little girl from our school.  Sure enough, I was shocked to discover another 7 year old from our school was killed by two dogs while visiting some family friends.
Having been through the loss of a child, my heart ached for this family knowing what they must be going through.  Friday night my husband and I went to a social to raise money for the funeral for the little girl and Saturday I went to her funeral.  I sat behind a row of kids from her class.  The kids were sobbing especially one little boy who had spent a great deal of time in daycare with the little girl.  I hardly knew the girl, but cried as well.  The funeral was beautiful and really honoured her life.  There was one story shared that I particularly enjoyed and I thought was great for all the children there.  I looked it up after I got home.
It is called Waterbugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney
Waterbugs and Dragonflies : Explaining Death to Young Children"
Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were
very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going
about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.
"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?" Up, up, up it slowly went....Even
as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return...
"That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second... "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third.
No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea". The next one
of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why."
"We promise", they said solemnly.
One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what
was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.
When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver
wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings...The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his
wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!
Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to
rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying
around, just as he had been doing some time before.
The dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why." Without thinking,
the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water...
"I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least, I tried. But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new
body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what has happened to me, and where I went."
And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.......

From: "Waterbugs and Dragonflies : Explaining Death to Young Children"
by Doris Stickney

I was curious if this is infact the life cycle of a dragonfly, starting out in water, so I looked it up.  Wikipedia says, "Female dragonflies lay eggs in or near water, often on floating or emergent plants. When laying eggs, some species will submerge themselves completely in order to lay their eggs on a good surface. The eggs then hatch into naiads. Most of a dragonfly's life is spent in the naiad form, beneath the water's surface, using extendable jaws to catch otherinvertebrates (often mosquito larvae) or even vertebrates such as tadpoles and fish.^[3] They breathe through gills in their rectum, and can rapidly propel themselves by suddenly expelling water through the anus.^[4] Some naiads even hunt on land,^[5] an aptitude that could easily have been more common in ancient times when terrestrial predators were clumsier.

The larval stage of large dragonflies may last as long as five years. In smaller species, this stage may last between two months and three years. When the naiad is ready to metamorphose into an adult, it climbs up a reed or other emergent plant. Exposure to air causes the naiad to begin breathing. The skin splits at a weak spot behind the head and the adult dragonfly crawls out of its larval skin, pumps up its wings, and flies off to feed on midges and flies. In flight the adult dragonfly can propel itself in six directions; upward, downward, forward, back, and side to side.^[6] The adult stage of larger species of dragonfly can last as long as five or six months."'

A Memorable Dream

I wrote this 3-4 weeks ago.  Kind of interesting with respect to recent events.

I had a dream last night.  My SIL was at my house and I said I would be right back.  I rode my bike to the mall and parked it by a toy store.  Then I came out and needed to go to the bathroom.  I left my bike and went to the bathroom, but when I came out I was disoriented and didn't know which way to go to get back to my bike.  I wandered around till I got more and more lost.  Finally, I asked for directions to get to the toy store.  I started getting back to more familiar territory when my husband walked up.  Then Jamin ran to me and said, "Look who I found!"  Jamin stepped aside to reveal Gordon.  I immediately fell down to my knees and he ran to me and fell into my arms giving me a giant hug.  He said, "I love you, Mom."  Then he ran away saying, "Now I need to go check on Grandpa!"  I saw him run away and then I woke up.  As soon as I got the kids off to school, I called my mom.  It was such a vivid dream, it made me feel happy all day.

My Forever Family Part 2

My father in-law was a great man that touched many people's lives.  His constant selfless service to others and passion for his family and his optometry profession cannot be matched.  My sister in-law's husband created this awesome video on his life.  It is very painful losing a family member so suddenly and tragically, but I know that we will treasure the memories we have forever.  I love videos like this because it will help my children remember their grandpa and the great man that he was.

My Birthday

This year my birthday started out great.  My husband wished me happy birthday without having to remind me and he made me a smoothie for breakfast!  10 points for my husband!  Then I checked Facebook and 30 people had already wished me happy birthday.  How exciting is that!  I think that must be the best thing about Facebook... birthdays.  Then I went to my morning Mom Fit step class.  Good times and my friend invited me to come to lunch with her.  So I went out to lunch.  Then I needed to pick up some stuff from Walmart and so did she so we drove across the street there.  As I stopped at the stop light, a car tried turning a little too quickly and started spinning in the intersection.   It was more slick than they had anticipated.  They spun three times and came very close to me, but did not hit me.  Thank goodness.  I got out of my car and was a little shaken.  My friend parked right next to me and we went in.  I picked up a couple things I needed like kitty litter.  I was just about to part from her to get the rest of what I needed, when my phone rang.  I answered and had to ask Matthew to repeat himself as I began to shake because what he told me did not make sense and could not be true.  He told me his dad was in a car accident and died.  My friend grabbed on to me or I probably would have fallen over.  She directed me to a bench and I sat down to think.  There was only one thing I could think of and that was that I needed to get to Mom(Matthew's Mom).  After I could think, I asked her to take Tegan and she offered to come to my house after school to meet my boys.  Then I drove to Mom's house.
Since then has been another whirlwind week.  A week full of emotions and shock that has shaken the entire family.  A week of doing hard things and a week of making memories and remembering a loved father.  So now we go ahead facing the challenges before us.  It is different than losing a child, but in some ways going through this before, losing a loved one suddenly, has helped me know what to expect and help give Mom a head's up.
Matthew's Dad was also his boss.  He owned the company that Matthew and two of his brothers and a sister work for.  Now the stress of owning a business rests on his mother.  I only hope that all the siblings can work together to help.  It's not going to be easy, but Dad started something great and I know that with faith and prayer and a lot of work, they can continue on his legacy.
The amazing thing about this family is how everyone reacted.  Everyone came running to mom, whether by plane or car, they all came as fast as they could.  Even two of my brothers came from far distances to be here for me.  It was so great to be together.  I think we did make a unanimous decision that we need to all quit meeting this way.  Next time we need to have a wedding or something.

My Kids School

I find myself volunteering a lot at my kids school lately.  Either in Neil's classroom or with hot lunch days.  I love how the kids are all happy to see me and depending on the grade, they will either say 'Hi Neil's Mom!' or 'Hi Jamin's Mom!' or whispering 'that's Gordon's Mom.'  and then turn and wave.  It makes me happy that they remember Gordon and a little sad to see them growing up without their friend.
It has been really cold here, so while I'm up at the front helping with hot lunch, the kids walk up and down the hallways.  That's how they get exercise on cold days.  They wave as they come by.  There is something amazing about a school. I don't know if all schools are like ours, but seeing all the kids learning and communicating with each other and helping each other is amazing to me.  
I bring Tegan and Dallin with me to help with hot lunch and they love going there too.  Today they ended up not needing me, but Tegan and Dallin didn't want to go right away, so we went to visit Jamin and Neil.  I caught Jamin lost in a book at recess and Neil was stringing 100 fruit loops on a necklace, colour coordinated of course.
There was lots of excitement in the school today as the olympics have been on and during recess, they let the kids watch it.  Today was hockey between the US and Canada men.  I heard the countdown and the excitement when Canada won.  I imagine it is an experience that they will remember for a long time because they experienced it with their friends.
The technology at our school is amazing.  These 'smart boards' that all the classes have are amazing.  I remember how excited teachers were to get dry erase boards instead of chalk boards.  It's a different world now.  The teachers have all the online resources right at their finger tips.
I know lots of Moms that homeschool and I have thought about it before, but I love my kids school.  The Moms I know that homeschool do a really great job, and some of their children are super advanced, some are big into sports and spend lots of their day doing that, and some have jobs that require lots of travel and it fits for their family.  I think this fits for my family.  I am glad there are choices for schooling in this country public, private, language immersion programs, and home school.  It all serves a purpose.

The Quest to Get to the Park

Tegan fell asleep on the way to drop Jamin off at piano lessons.  I asked Neil what he wanted to do while we waited for Jamin.  He said he wanted to go to the park.  It was a warmer than it has been kind of day and he had all his snow stuff on, so I thought that would be fine.  We got there and it looked like no one had been to the park for a very long time.  His first step into the snow was a doozy.  It went up to his waist, but he was determined.

 He discovered crawling made it easier to not sink into the snow.

 After about 10 minutes, he made it!

 Then he came back.   It was easier for him to come back, but I did get him to pose for me standing up.

 Snow.  At least someone in our family likes it. =)

Will You Be My Valentine

I get a little excited about Valentine's Day.  I designed these a month ago.  I love being a little creative with my kids valentines.  I don't really like giving candy.  Other parents do, so they still get some.  I like to give a cheap little toy with a cheesy line that fits in.  =)  Yay!  I was happy with how these ones turned out.  Jamin didn't want a picture of him in it this year.  He picked out this cute dog picture I found online.  Now to just finish cutting them out, have the kids write the names of their classmates on the back, and put them in little baggies.

My Mom's Kitchen

I was talking to my mom the other day on FaceTime and took a couple pictures from her kitchen.I love technology and I love this.  I want to make one for my kitchen when we move into our new house... if they ever finish it.  I need less things in my kitchen right now as we are trying to sell our house.

And this is very important.  lol.

And my mom still has this up.

We made these a looong time ago during FHE(Family Home Evening).  I love that she still has it.  We all came up with the rules together.
It's a little hard to read.  It says...

Home Rules

Try to be happy "SMILE"

Read Scriptures each day

Take care of own bedrooms

No name calling

Show good manners

Clean hands after restroom use

Do not unlock restroom door when in use 

Do not disturb someone in their bedroom

Ask permission from parents before doing things

Show reverence

Do what parents say without complaining

Keep hands to yourself

I was telling someone last week about my family and some of the challenges we had growing up and about my siblings and how awesome they are.  I love my family.=)  So they asked me how I think all of my siblings turned out so well.  I have a few theories and told her a few, but I think this list has lots of great ideas.  My parents really tried to be good parents and I'm very grateful to them for doing their best.

A Little Girl That Loves Jamin

I had a cute moment at church yesterday.  There's a little 5 year old girl at church who whenever she sees me, she yells, "Lisa!" and she comes and gives me a hug and grabs my hand or climbs up on my lap.  She is so sweet.  So we were sitting at church yesterday, and I brought pretzels for my kids for a snack.  So this little girl came back with us to get some pretzels too.  I didn't mind sharing.  Everyone was happy.  After the pretzels were gone, Tegan went to go sit with Grandma and this little girl climbed up on my lap with Dallin. =)  Then Dallin climbed down and sat in his own seat.  Jamin was sitting next to me.  The little girl puckered her lips toward Jamin.  He backed away a little, and she said, "Jamin, I want to kiss you."  Jamin laughed and said, "Uh, I think I'm a little too old for you."  Then she said, "I want to be older so I can kiss you!"  She said it so loud that everyone in the room could hear her.  It was hilarious.  I whispered in her ear that Jamin isn't aloud to kiss girls until he's much older.

Hidden 'Demons'

I ran across this song today, Demons by Imagine Dragons.  I am definitely not on top of it with the latest music, but I noticed this band recently received a grammy for "Radioactive" which I had heard before, so I was looking up what other songs they had.  I thought the song "Demons" was a dark song, but cool and real and it touched me.  
I remember going to Walmart for the first time after Gordon died.  It was kind of a surreal experience.  I remember walking through the store wondering how people could just walk around like everything was normal when for me it no longer was.  I wondered who knew what had just happened to me and if something like this could happen to me what things have happened to them.  I ran into someone I knew and we had a somewhat normal conversation, I can't remember what about, I got what I needed and left.  I wasn't ready to drive yet, so my husband was waiting in the car for me.
We all walk through life and have our own hidden 'demons'.  We all have hard things that we go through, and that hurt, so what I get from this is be kind.  You don't know what someone is going through, so don't be quick to judge them.

Matching PJs are the Best

I love these pictures.  They make me smile.  =)

Work it Out With Words... a Miracle Mommy Moment

These two are perhaps two of the cutest friends ever.  They love to play princesses and tea party and all kinds of pretend games.  It is adorable... most of the time.  They also are two very head strong girls.  We'll just say these girls are future leaders.  I had a miracle mommy moment with them.  They wanted to play Candyland, what little girl wouldn't.  However, one insisted that they play it downstairs and the other insisted that they play upstairs.  This had the potential to be ugly.  They were whining at each other and came to me for help.  I told them, "Girls, it doesn't matter to me whether you play the game upstairs or downstairs.  You two talk it out and work out a solution you can both be happy with and then I will be happy to get Candyland down for you to play."  So I left them to talk, not too far incase it did in fact get ugly.  A couple minutes later, they came happily upstairs and said they were going to play one game upstairs and then one game downstairs.  I was so happy, I just about shouted for joy.  I told them how proud I was with their ability to work it out and went and got them the game.  It is not an easy skill for children to learn to work with others, but so essential.  So proud of these two sweet girls.

The Mom Lap

Sitting at church on Sunday is not as easy at may seem... when you are a mother.  For several years, my husband sat up at the front, but now that he has a different job at church he sits with us when he is there.  Anyway, so my husband sits there at the end of the row, an effective tool to keep them in our row.  They leave him alone, and he is able to listen to the talks.  Me on the other hand...
My 4 year old girl sits on my lap.  My 1 1/2 year old sees his sister on my lap and now he wants to sit on my lap.  Sooo I set my Tegan down on the chair next to me and pick up my baby.  Tegan starts crying because she wants to sit on my lap.  I say ok, I have two legs.  I put one on one leg and one on the other while attempting to keep my skirt down that they keep pulling up.  It is fine for about 2 minutes.  Then they start pushing each other, but I keep trying to readjust the baby to keep the peace and restore reverence.  Finally, I give up and tell my 4 year old it is not working and she needs to sit in her own chair.  She mopes but accepts it.  About a minute after she is no longer on my lap, my baby decides he no longer needs to be on my lap.  He climbs down and walks over to his big brother. A couple minutes of freedom...  I think I heard at least a couple of sentences.  Then my little girl gets excited that no one is on my lap and plops herself back on my lap.  This, of course, leads to my baby screaming and running back to my lap.  So I put Tegan back onto her chair and tell her I am so sorry but she cannot sit on my lap because it makes the baby scream.  Then I have a genius idea.  I suggest she go sit on Grandmas lap who is on the other side of the chapel.  At first she says no, but as she sees the baby on my lap, she reconsiders.  She goes over to Grandma and sits on her lap.  I think victory!  She is getting points with Grandma and the problem is solved... for a few minutes.  Baby gets bored of my lap and climbs down.  I am trying to listen to get something out of the service.  So I don't notice too much when my six year old comes over and sits on my lap.  Of course fine for a minute or two, but then the screaming is back as baby brother notices someone is on my lap.  Ugg.
Now, what did they talk about at church today? ...I have no idea.

Christmas Was a Little Different This Year

Last Christmas we were planning to go to my home in Missouri, but when the accident happened I knew I couldn't do it.  Everyone came here for Gordon's funeral, the Friday before Christmas.  We were surrounded by family and people kept showing up giving us food and flowers.  It was a huge whirlwind.  This year was different and I knew it would be and I knew it would be hard.  I wanted it to be different and kept trying to think as time got closer how I could make it memorable and happy.
When Typhoon Haiyan hit the Phillipines at the beginning of November, I didn't know it was coming.  After it hit, my friend whose family lives there messaged me about how worried she was about her family.  They all live in Tacloban.  She hadn't been able to contact them.  A week later, she still had no word.  Finally, through others, she found out they were alive.  They lived through waiting out the storm in the rafters of a church building as the church building itself became flooded with 3 feet of water.  Her brother had gone back to check on their home.  He was able to wait out the storm on the roof of house.  Miraculously the roof did not collapse after much of the rest of the building in fact was washed away.  He was able to save 5 people by pulling them up onto the roof.  Other people that called to him, he could not reach and was unable to save.  Her family lost everything.  Their home and all their earthly possessions... gone.  More devastating.  Many of their friends didn't make it.  Including one of her best friends three children.  My heart ached for them.
I think no matter what we have gone through, it is nothing compared to what these families are going through right now.
She told me of the stockpiling that was happening.  Her sister with a six month old baby was declined food even though there was tons.  She was able to raise 300 dollars to send from her customers at the restaurant she works at.  She said it would help.  There were and are still so many that need help.
I knew I couldn't do much but I could help her family get some basic necessities and help them feel that someone cares before Christmas.  I sat down with my family and we had a talk.  First I talked with my husband.  We decided not to give each other gifts this year.  Then I talked to my oldest.  I asked him what he wanted for Christmas.  He wanted an iPod.  I told him he deserved that, but our friend's family in the Philipines had just lost everything.  I asked him if he would rather have an iPod or give to this family who didn't have anything.  He said he wanted to give to the family.  I talked to the rest of the kids and though I didn't think they fully understood, they agreed to give to this family.  We didn't have an extraordinary budget for Christmas this year since we are close to the end of building a home and have not sold our current home yet.  But we decided as a family to give our Christmas budget to this family.  We have all our necessities and did not need any more toys.  My friend lives two hours away, so I mailed her a check so she could wire it to her family.  I let my oldest put it in the mailbox.  He said, "Mom, this will be the best Christmas ever.  I feel so happy right now."  He is such a great kid.
As Christmas got closer, I was getting a little nervous.  I wasn't giving my kids any toys for Christmas.  I got them each a couple books and Santa was bringing pyjamas and of course would fill their stockings with candy and toothbrushes and Christmas oranges.  I am sure that this family in the Philipines doesn't have nearly this much, so I probably shouldn't have been anxious.
On the anniversary of Gordon's death on Dec. 14th, my SIL in California called and we talked for a long time.  One of the things I mentioned was what we were doing this Christmas and how I was getting a little nervous about how the kids would react.
Well, with only a couple days before Christmas, I started getting packages in the mail.  Something for each of our kids and something for our family.  My SIL had e-mailed my siblings and together they sent us gifts.  I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, but it eased my tension about Christmas coming.  We did our normal traditions.  Got together with my husband's family that lives here.  Sang songs, watched nativity movies, played games, and ate lots of food.  Christmas morning came, I woke up to the sound of heaving.  Tegan was sick with the stomach flu, but she was very excited as were the other kids about the presents under the tree.  They weren't expecting anything and they were so happy.  I feel like it is a miracle.  We were able to help someone who really needed it, and we were helped as well.
It still wasn't an easy holiday.  Just about everyone got sick with something in our family, flu, strep throat, and colds.  My husband was having a hard time emotionally through the holidays, but we made it through and the kids were happy and I imagine next year will be better.  There is much to look forward to in the New Year.

2013 Year in Review

2013 was a not the easiest year for us.  But through the tragic loss of our sweet seven year old, we still made many happy memories.  Life has not stopped for us and in many ways it is a new beginning.  Gordon has motivated us to do many things that we may not have otherwise done.

 Gordon is our guardian angel and inspiration.  I am sure he is being a big helper up in heaven welcoming everyone there with his giant grin and the best hugs.  I can't wait to get one of those hugs again one day.

Our cat enjoyed all the flowers and cards everyone sent us.  We were overwhelmed with the love that was outpoured from our friends and family at the beginning of the year.

We have a house that is being built that is taking forever.  It has been over two years.

 We keep thinking it will be done soon, so at the beginning of the year we did some renovations on our current home to get it ready to put up for sale.

 Our Jamin turned 11.  Just an all around great kid.  A great helper and good example to his younger siblings.  He enjoys playing squash, swimming, the piano, and soccer.  He also likes building things and doing fun activities with his scout troop.  His favourite subject is math.  He wants to be an engineer when he grows up.  We are glad that he is part of our family.

 Grandma and Grandpa came to visit.  We loved having them and wish they would move here!  I have a feeling the don't always like the weather here, though.  It just happens to be colder than the North pole today.  

Maybe we can convince them to come spend summers here.

 Matthew and I celebrated our 12 year anniversary.  Love this man that has held me together and given me someone to confide in this past emotional year.

 The day after our anniversary is Dallin's birthday.  He is a big 1 year old now!  He loves his older siblings, his cousins, his blankie, his thumb, and long naps.  When he is not napping, he is a super silly fun guy.  He loves slides, trampolines, balls, blocks, and tickles.  Dallin brings so much joy to our family and we are so glad he is part of it.

 My family had a reunion in South Carolina. 

 We had a great time and thoroughly enjoyed the beach and seeing the fireworks from our hotel room.

Neil turned 6 years old.  Neil is full of questions.  He loves learning, swimming, skating, playing the piano and hugs.  His favourite thing is playing Minecraft on the iPad.  Luckily, it is great motivation to get him to do anything that he needs to do.  Neil wants to be a policeman when he grows up.  Neil is a sweety pie and we love that he is part of our family.

September long weekend we went camping with a bunch of friends.  It was good times.  We hadn't been camping as a family for a long time, so it was a big deal for us.  We look forward to doing it again next year. 

Once again, the kids started school.  Jamin in 6th grade, Neil in 1st, and Tegan in preschool.  They all love school and are doing well.

Tegan turned 4 years old.  She is a girl who loves everything pink and sparkly.  She loves the water, gymnastics, the library, and shopping.  Whe is learning to play the piano and ice skate.  She wants to be an artist when she grows up.  Tegan is our sweet princess and we love that she is a part of our family.

I ran my second half marathon.  I came in third place, same as last year.  The kids ran part of it with me.  It was a good time.

 In October, we took three weeks off and went to Disney World!  It was fantastical.  Matthew had an optometric convention there, so we all decided to go.  We went to the four kingdoms, the two water parks twice and spent a day at Universal.  My little brother was able to meet up with us as well.  He was so helpful.  It was awesome.

We were able to swing by my parent's home on the way back to Canada and we were able to visit for a couple days.

 Halloween is a fun time for the kids to dress up and for the second year in a row, I put together a story with my sister in-law for our kids.  

 Jamin had the lead in his school Christmas concert.  He was Santa and sang a solo and everything.  I smiled the whole time.  He was great.  He had to try out for the part and after he did his audition, all the other kids said, "Well, I guess we know who Santa will be."  He is quite the little entertainer.

Matthew has been specializing in vision therapy for quite a while and has recently opened a brand new clinic.

 The grand opening will be happening in a week.  This is very exciting as it will likely be the best equipped clinic of this kind in Canada.  Gordon was a bright child but had some challenges that made some things in school difficult for him.  He had been assessed and was scheduled to start vision therapy in January of this year.  After Gordon died, we knew that the new clinic should be named after him since he was a major influence in Matthew pursuing this course in his career.  This will be a clinic that will help children and adults with many different vision disorders.