Memories Made During a Difficult Time

Cousins =)

We have some that live close by

and some that live far away.

But they all came for a day to remember their Grandpa and to support their Grandma when she needed it the most.

Even though it was a hard, emotional time, we were able to do it together

and even have a few laughs

with some cousins that don't always have this white stuff around all the time.

I was so excited that two of my brothers came to be with me for a couple days after my father in-law passed away.  

Love these guys!  They took care of baby D during the funeral so I could go up for the musical numbers and we stayed up late playing a couple of good games of PowerGrid.  I slaughtered them the first time.  Bwahaha!  It was pretty awesome.  They got me back the second time, but it was still fun.

My sweet Neil snuggling with Grandma.  He loves his Grandma so much.  

This is the dress that Tegan wore to her Grandpa's funeral.  She wore it to Gordon's funeral as well, but I didn't get a good picture of it that day.  

It is the same dress that her cousin wore to her Grandma's funeral.  

It is difficult going through things like this, but it makes it so much easier to have family come and support you when you need it the most.  

Waterbugs and Dragonflies - a Community Mourning the Loss of Another Child

Yesterday I attended yet another funeral.
My husband and I were away last weekend visiting a friend's vision therapy clinic.  Matthew wanted to get ideas how to better assist his patients and become more efficient.  It was a nice trip.  We went without the kids thanks to some super awesome friends here and we went skiing.  It was nice to get away from reality for a few days.  Monday at lunch, one of Matthew's staff that came with us who is also a friend asked if I had checked my e-mail that day.  I had not checked it all weekend, but she said I should and that something tragic had happened to a little girl from our school.  Sure enough, I was shocked to discover another 7 year old from our school was killed by two dogs while visiting some family friends.
Having been through the loss of a child, my heart ached for this family knowing what they must be going through.  Friday night my husband and I went to a social to raise money for the funeral for the little girl and Saturday I went to her funeral.  I sat behind a row of kids from her class.  The kids were sobbing especially one little boy who had spent a great deal of time in daycare with the little girl.  I hardly knew the girl, but cried as well.  The funeral was beautiful and really honoured her life.  There was one story shared that I particularly enjoyed and I thought was great for all the children there.  I looked it up after I got home.
It is called Waterbugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney
Waterbugs and Dragonflies : Explaining Death to Young Children"
Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were
very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going
about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.
"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?" Up, up, up it slowly went....Even
as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return...
"That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second... "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third.
No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea". The next one
of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why."
"We promise", they said solemnly.
One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what
was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.
When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver
wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings...The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his
wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!
Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to
rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying
around, just as he had been doing some time before.
The dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why." Without thinking,
the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water...
"I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least, I tried. But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new
body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what has happened to me, and where I went."
And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.......

From: "Waterbugs and Dragonflies : Explaining Death to Young Children"
by Doris Stickney

I was curious if this is infact the life cycle of a dragonfly, starting out in water, so I looked it up.  Wikipedia says, "Female dragonflies lay eggs in or near water, often on floating or emergent plants. When laying eggs, some species will submerge themselves completely in order to lay their eggs on a good surface. The eggs then hatch into naiads. Most of a dragonfly's life is spent in the naiad form, beneath the water's surface, using extendable jaws to catch otherinvertebrates (often mosquito larvae) or even vertebrates such as tadpoles and fish.^[3] They breathe through gills in their rectum, and can rapidly propel themselves by suddenly expelling water through the anus.^[4] Some naiads even hunt on land,^[5] an aptitude that could easily have been more common in ancient times when terrestrial predators were clumsier.

The larval stage of large dragonflies may last as long as five years. In smaller species, this stage may last between two months and three years. When the naiad is ready to metamorphose into an adult, it climbs up a reed or other emergent plant. Exposure to air causes the naiad to begin breathing. The skin splits at a weak spot behind the head and the adult dragonfly crawls out of its larval skin, pumps up its wings, and flies off to feed on midges and flies. In flight the adult dragonfly can propel itself in six directions; upward, downward, forward, back, and side to side.^[6] The adult stage of larger species of dragonfly can last as long as five or six months."'

A Memorable Dream

I wrote this 3-4 weeks ago.  Kind of interesting with respect to recent events.

I had a dream last night.  My SIL was at my house and I said I would be right back.  I rode my bike to the mall and parked it by a toy store.  Then I came out and needed to go to the bathroom.  I left my bike and went to the bathroom, but when I came out I was disoriented and didn't know which way to go to get back to my bike.  I wandered around till I got more and more lost.  Finally, I asked for directions to get to the toy store.  I started getting back to more familiar territory when my husband walked up.  Then Jamin ran to me and said, "Look who I found!"  Jamin stepped aside to reveal Gordon.  I immediately fell down to my knees and he ran to me and fell into my arms giving me a giant hug.  He said, "I love you, Mom."  Then he ran away saying, "Now I need to go check on Grandpa!"  I saw him run away and then I woke up.  As soon as I got the kids off to school, I called my mom.  It was such a vivid dream, it made me feel happy all day.

My Forever Family Part 2

My father in-law was a great man that touched many people's lives.  His constant selfless service to others and passion for his family and his optometry profession cannot be matched.  My sister in-law's husband created this awesome video on his life.  It is very painful losing a family member so suddenly and tragically, but I know that we will treasure the memories we have forever.  I love videos like this because it will help my children remember their grandpa and the great man that he was.

My Birthday

This year my birthday started out great.  My husband wished me happy birthday without having to remind me and he made me a smoothie for breakfast!  10 points for my husband!  Then I checked Facebook and 30 people had already wished me happy birthday.  How exciting is that!  I think that must be the best thing about Facebook... birthdays.  Then I went to my morning Mom Fit step class.  Good times and my friend invited me to come to lunch with her.  So I went out to lunch.  Then I needed to pick up some stuff from Walmart and so did she so we drove across the street there.  As I stopped at the stop light, a car tried turning a little too quickly and started spinning in the intersection.   It was more slick than they had anticipated.  They spun three times and came very close to me, but did not hit me.  Thank goodness.  I got out of my car and was a little shaken.  My friend parked right next to me and we went in.  I picked up a couple things I needed like kitty litter.  I was just about to part from her to get the rest of what I needed, when my phone rang.  I answered and had to ask Matthew to repeat himself as I began to shake because what he told me did not make sense and could not be true.  He told me his dad was in a car accident and died.  My friend grabbed on to me or I probably would have fallen over.  She directed me to a bench and I sat down to think.  There was only one thing I could think of and that was that I needed to get to Mom(Matthew's Mom).  After I could think, I asked her to take Tegan and she offered to come to my house after school to meet my boys.  Then I drove to Mom's house.
Since then has been another whirlwind week.  A week full of emotions and shock that has shaken the entire family.  A week of doing hard things and a week of making memories and remembering a loved father.  So now we go ahead facing the challenges before us.  It is different than losing a child, but in some ways going through this before, losing a loved one suddenly, has helped me know what to expect and help give Mom a head's up.
Matthew's Dad was also his boss.  He owned the company that Matthew and two of his brothers and a sister work for.  Now the stress of owning a business rests on his mother.  I only hope that all the siblings can work together to help.  It's not going to be easy, but Dad started something great and I know that with faith and prayer and a lot of work, they can continue on his legacy.
The amazing thing about this family is how everyone reacted.  Everyone came running to mom, whether by plane or car, they all came as fast as they could.  Even two of my brothers came from far distances to be here for me.  It was so great to be together.  I think we did make a unanimous decision that we need to all quit meeting this way.  Next time we need to have a wedding or something.