Father's Day 2013

For me, Mother's Day was rough this year.  However, Father's day was fantastic.  I enjoyed the day and thought it was perfect.  We started the morning with a yummy breakfast with eggs, pancakes, and cantaloupe.  The boys gave Daddy the gifts they made for him.  Jamin's gift was an owl made with plaster and paint.  It says, "I owl always love you!"  Then Neil's was the feet with a poem.  It went

"Walk a little slower, "

Said a little child so small.

"I'm following in your footsteps, 

And I don't want to fall.

Sometimes your steps are very fast,

Sometimes they're hard to see;

So walk a little slower 

For you are leading me.

Someday when I'm all grown up,

You are what I want to be;

For then I'll have a child

Who'll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right;

And I know that I was true;

So walk a little slower,

For I must follow you."

-Bobbie Norman

Really sweet poem.  I think it is pretty popular at Father's day.  Then I gave DH a razor from all of us.  It is what he asked for.  =)

At church the kids sang "Daddy's Homecoming". It goes, "I'm so glad when daddy comes home, Glad as I can be; Clap my hands and shout for joy, Then climb upon his knee, Put my arms around his neck, Hug him tight like this, Pat his cheeks, then give him what?  A great big kiss."

Then Neil ran up to Daddy and gave him a big kiss. Then the kids gave their Daddy's a bag of chocolate kisses.

 Neil's primary teacher filled out a Father's Day Survey with him.  It was pretty cute.

1. My Dad's favorite thing to do with his time is... everything with my Mommy and my Brothers and Sisters

2. My Dad is gone all day because he is... at work

3. My Dad married my Mom because... he married her in white

4. My Dad's favorite food is... Everything

5. My Dad's favorite toy is... Every toy in the world

6. If my Dad could own any car it would be... grey and black

7. My favourite thing about my Dad is... "D"

8. My Dad is silly because once he... He hugs me in my bed and that's silly.  And mom gives me a snuggle.

9. My Dad's favorite book is... ?

10. My Dad's favorite TV show/movie is... Every movie in the world.

11. My Dad is 99 years old.

 Friday night, the boys went on a Father/Son outing.  It wasn't very long, but they enjoyed it.

They had junk food and got to sleep in tents.   Can't get much better than that... or a camper in our kids case.

 They played capture the flag.  Jamin said he had lots of fun till he had a collision with a big guy.  He forgot that you aren't suppose to run in front of people running at full speed that are 3 times larger than oneself.  He was fine.  No worries.  =)

After the campout the DH and the kids went swimming at Grandma's and Grandpa's house while the girls went and made some pottery.  Jamin locked them all out of the house, but luckily, Matthew had everything he needed and Grandma and Grandpa live close.  It all worked out.

 After church on Father's Day, the kids were being so cute playing Uno while I was making something for the family potluck.  It was adorable.  

 On the way to the family potluck, we dropped by Gordon.  It made us pretty late, but they didn't seem too upset at us.

 There was a cute little family of ducks in the pond. 

Then we had a tasty dinner and talked with family and went home.

Make it a Great Day

The sweetest people I know is an elderly couple at church.  The husband always says, "Make it a great day."  If I say, "Have a great day!"  Then he says, "No, MAKE it a great day."
We all face challenges.  Everyone's challenges are different.  However, it isn't WHAT we go through... it is HOW we go through it.  Let's be honest.  Life stinks sometimes.  Sometimes it can be really crazy hard.
I truly believe that no matter what you go through, happiness is a choice.  No one else can make you happy, but there are some things you can do to help yourself get there.
When I lost Gordon, I really wished there was some kind of rule book... What to do When You See You're 7 Year Old Child Die in a Car Accident.  Complete with a step by step guide on how to react and cope and exactly what to do.  Crazy thing, it doesn't exist.  Because everyone is different.   (If you do know of this book.  I want one!)  We all go through different stuff and it is tough.
The very same day that my Gordon died, there was another tragedy where several little children and adults too were killed in a shooting in Newton, Connecticut.  There was one family that was in the news that lost a little girl named Emilie.  A beautiful little girl that I am sure Gordon immediately became friends with up in heaven.  I felt such a connection to this family.  We lost a young child on the same day.  We are both Mormons.  We both have other young children.  So many similarities, however, I can see what they are going through is quite different.  I can see their strength.  Although I really have no idea since I don't really know them at all.  I just follow their blog (http://theparkerfive.wordpress.com).  Tons of people encourage them and are praying and rooting for them, but lots of people are real jerks to them too saying horrible things.  Being in the public eye brings a whole other element to the mix.  So my point is, even if you have gone through something traumatic, we are different and there are different ways of dealing with things.  I think it is important not to judge others because till you walk in their shoes, you just have no idea.
I have really tried to deal with my loss in a positive way.  I am a work in progress.  I miss that sweet guy.  I still cry and get angry at people in my heart sometimes for not being sensitive and kind to me.  Even people that have no idea what I have been through.  Most people are pretty nice to me, though.
I watched the movie Ramona and Beezus tonight with my little girl and baby since the bigger boys are on a Father/son outing.  Not really a movie that would make you cry. It made me bawl so hard because that Ramona reminded me so much of my Gordon.  I think the longing for him and the hole in my heart will maybe never go away.  But I can still be happy.  I can still enjoy life and be a good Mom to my other children who are still on this Earth and my child in heaven by preserving his memory.  I can still be kind to those around me.  I can still have great days.
How, you might ask?
Well, here it is.

Lisa's five steps to make it a great day.

1. Exercise - at least 3 times a week
    I like to run, but not everyone is able to do that.  Find something you enjoy that moves your body and produces those endorphins.  I sometimes lack the motivation to start running, but once I start and when I am done I feel so good.  It is fantastic.
2. Help someone at least once a day.
   Look around, and be thinking about helping people and it is easy to do.
Service is great therapy.  It gets me all excited when I am able to help someone out.
3. Go outside - get your vitamin D
  I love the sunshine.
4. Talk to people and smile.
  Smiling is contagious.  Spread it around.  =)
 There are a lot of good people and programs out there that can be a support to you.  I meet amazing people all the time.  So many people have been through different things.  Listen to them and share your story as well because we all have a story.
5. Choose to be happy
  Maybe this should be number one.  You won't do any of these things unless you make a choice and give yourself permission to be happy.  Gordon would want me to be happy.  He was a happy guy.

Then when you are being happy, take a picture and record it.  Remember those happy times.

Visiting Gordon

What do you do on a Sunday afternoon?  

We went to visit Gordon.  

My kids have been very interested in going lately.

 They have a sweet little bridge and pond close to where he is buried.

This is a different day.

 Neil kept telling Tegan not to step on Gordon.  

So, of course, being a three year old, she had to test it.

 It will still be a couple more months before the bronze plate marking the grave will be completed.  

Last week we went to see what it will look like.

It is going to be beautiful.  Matthew, Gordon and I are sharing one and our pictures will be engraved into it.  They were able to incorporate many pictures that were meaningful to us.

 It has been six months since the accident.  I cannot believe how the time flies.  

Six months since I have held him.

Six months since I have talked to him.

Six months months since I kissed the small scrape on his head.

He said he fell at school.  I asked if he would like a band-aid and he said he was fine.  He was so tough.  I gave him a kiss.  We looked at the Mario book I wrote for my kids.  I just got it in the mail the day before.  We were all so excited about it.  I fed him dinner.  We had spaghetti and meatballs.  He ate lots of food.  Grandma came to watch the other kids.  We left for music class...

and then the accident.

The things I miss most are his hugs, his laugh, and getting to know everyone anywhere we went.  He was so friendly, so full of life.  

I love you Gordon.  We miss you.

I am thankful for the videos and pictures I have to help me remember.